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I'm Back (Just for a Fly-By Post)

Hey all! My "weight loss" journey SUCKS right now. Its more like a weight gain journey..

I started up student teaching again after being forced to withdraw last year. Last year was so stressful - I was getting no sleep, etc. And it was all for naught. THIS year I've been paranoid about the same thing happening again, although its been a better experience - the school is awesome, and I passed my two most important evaluations. But its still a TON of work!

Nevertheless, for some odd reason, I've been bingeing like there's no tomorrow. My latest excuse is the stress from student teaching, because it didn't start until then, but what if its something else? I'm seeing an eating disorders specialist, given my history with anorexia. I HAVE to get my bingeing under control because I'm not just bingeing on junk food, etc. I'm bingeing on chicken and cheese. I was a vegetarian and I feel incredibly guilty about the chicken. And the cheese - OMG - its the dairy product that makes me the most ill. My body can't handle casein, and cheese is PACKED with it. I'm being totally self-destructive!

I've gained back half of the weight I've lost (around 25lbs.) and am already experiencing health problems because of it. My body just aches from my feet to my back when I stand and walk all day at school. It's actually starting to hurt walking up and down stairs now. Plus, I can barely reach my feet to put on shoes, etc. I don't think I'm that big, but obviously I am. The worst thing is the total and utter exhaustion. I can barely get anything done. I think my sleep apnea is back full-force.

So, in sum, I'm not doing so good. I hope I stop bingeing this summer. It would be nice to get back on track.