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I'm reading Re-Inventing Yourself with the Duchess (a WW book) and have decided to post my answers to the questions that are asked in my journal. Here's my first batch:

Self-Exploration Exercize #1: My Life in Review

1. Am I doing what I want to do with my career – or am I doing what’s easy or comfortable?

Career-wise, yes. I want to be a salesperson. And no, this is not easy or comfortable. Job-wise, I’m miserable right now. I’m being picked on by my manager for being a horrible sales rep and I don’t understand the product line.

2. What would I consider my ideal job or vocation?

Selling a product that I am passionate about, that I understand, and for a company who appreciates my sales style.

3. What’s my greatest triumph in life so far?

Getting my pointe shoes when I was seventeen after only studying ballet seriously for 1 ½ years. I worked so hard for those shoes!

4. What is my most precious unrealized dream?

I want to have 1-3 children.

5. Do I have a secret ambition?

I don’t have a secret ANYTHING! But an ambition I have that doesn’t showcase itself often is my desire to do freelance photography on the side.

6. Who in my life had the most profound influence on me?

My father – and he still does.

7. How do I want to live?

I want to live comfortably by my terms – in the Northwest, in a house, with my family, with enough money to do the things we want without having to worry about it.

8. What’s been the biggest disappointment or trauma in my life so far and how has it shaped me?

My friend Laurie died when I was in high school and I was no longer her friend after I found out she got sick. I was too afraid to get close. But in the end, it didn’t matter - I was just as affected by her death as if we were still friends. I learned I should never abandon those who are leaving or dying just to avoid feeling sad myself. I lost so much precious time with Laurie, probably when she needed friends the most.

9. What do I fear most in life?

Poverty

10. What would I do if my worst fear actually happened?

Get through it somehow – I am a survivor!

11. What makes me feel most competent in my life?

Right now, I’m so beaten down by stuff that’s happening at work that I can’t think of anything to answer this question. I truly feel that I basically suck at everything. I hate how this job has robbed me of my confidence.

12. What special ingredient seems to be missing from my life?

Children

13. Where do I pour most of my time & energy?

Work and agonizing over work (work stress)

14. If I didn’t have to go to work, how would I choose to spend my time?

If I had children, I would spend my time raising and teaching them. If not, I would probably do stuff with photography or film in some way.

15. What activity makes me feel happiest and most fulfilled?

Honestly, nothing but cooking does right now. And this worries me because of my addiction to food. Other things I used to be interested in have lost their luster.

16. How would I describe the ideal marriage?

The one I have! My husband is a sweetheart and so far we seem to be working as partners.

17. How would I most like people to remember me after I’m gone?

As a fun and kind person.

18. What would I most like to change about myself?

Big suprize – my weight. I want to get back down to a healthy and attractive size.

19. How would I describe my philosophy of life? Am I following it?

I have no idea what my philosophy of life is – I’ve never sat down and contemplated it. The only thing I can think of is “be nice.” As far as being nice, I’m following it – but since I don’t really have a philosophy, I guess I’m just wandering around this life aimlessly.

20. If I could rewrite one part of my history, what would it be?

Only one? Well, if I can only choose one, it would have to be my first marriage. I wish I had never even met Nick, let alone wasted 9 years of my life with him.